To start the Year
Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:45 pm
Subject: Fw: To start the year off, I thank you
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Just been gang raped by a group of mime artists...... they did unspeakable things to me................
I thought I'd be a gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady, two minutes later she said "will you sod off I'm trying to have a shit!!".
Brought the missus some crotch less knickers yesterday, It had nothing to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on her broomstick..
Advice for Kate Middleton - If you get divorced make sure you wear a seatbelt...........................
Now on sale at IKEA - LESBO beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove...............
A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol, police say it’s definitely race related ....................
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8..........................
Ginger bloke goes to the docs about a rash on his bollocks.
The doc says "how often do you have sex?"
He says "Once or twice a year!"
The doc say "that's not a rash mate, its RUST".
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency....................
The lead actor in the local production of Aladdin was anally raped, by the gay genie on stage last night, to be fair the audience tried to warn him.
The RSPCA have acted quickly after recent events at the Emirates stadium.
If you see an Arsenal fan with a dog, please ask them to call 0800 2-0 2-1 2-2 2-3 for advice on how to hold onto a lead.
Christmas in Liverpool........
12 inbred brothers, 11 fake Armani's, 10 Lambert & Butler, 9 pm curfew, 8 young children, 7 different dads, 6 grams of coke,
5 sovereign rings, 4 stolen alloys, 3 different ASBO's, 2 cans of Stella and a brand new DLA car.
Santa says to his chief Elf:
"I'm pissed off, every year I put on this red outfit, do all the work and end up with nothing".
The Elf replies "Now you know how Cesc Fabregas feels".
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Just been gang raped by a group of mime artists...... they did unspeakable things to me................
I thought I'd be a gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady, two minutes later she said "will you sod off I'm trying to have a shit!!".
Brought the missus some crotch less knickers yesterday, It had nothing to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on her broomstick..
Advice for Kate Middleton - If you get divorced make sure you wear a seatbelt...........................
Now on sale at IKEA - LESBO beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove...............
A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol, police say it’s definitely race related ....................
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8..........................
Ginger bloke goes to the docs about a rash on his bollocks.
The doc says "how often do you have sex?"
He says "Once or twice a year!"
The doc say "that's not a rash mate, its RUST".
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency....................
The lead actor in the local production of Aladdin was anally raped, by the gay genie on stage last night, to be fair the audience tried to warn him.
The RSPCA have acted quickly after recent events at the Emirates stadium.
If you see an Arsenal fan with a dog, please ask them to call 0800 2-0 2-1 2-2 2-3 for advice on how to hold onto a lead.
Christmas in Liverpool........
12 inbred brothers, 11 fake Armani's, 10 Lambert & Butler, 9 pm curfew, 8 young children, 7 different dads, 6 grams of coke,
5 sovereign rings, 4 stolen alloys, 3 different ASBO's, 2 cans of Stella and a brand new DLA car.
Santa says to his chief Elf:
"I'm pissed off, every year I put on this red outfit, do all the work and end up with nothing".
The Elf replies "Now you know how Cesc Fabregas feels".
:( :(