Beware of older men - they only get wiser
A woman decides to have a
face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the
results.
On her way home from her final checkup, she stops at a newsstand to buy a
newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you
don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I
am
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says
happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about
29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm
50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself.. She stops
in a drug store on her way down the
street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the
clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank
you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man
waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell
how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under
your bra..
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to
feel around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches
each nipple.
He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each
other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay,
okay....How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his
hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was
incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get
mad?'
'I promise I won't' she says.
'I was behind you at McDonalds.
Face Lift Story
Face Lift Story
'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly